Herself.com’s Alexis McDonald

A few weeks back we shared with our readers the creation of a new blog called Herself.com. The site was founded by Australian actor Caitlin Stasey who wanted to profile real women’s views on a wide range of topics from the roll that religion played in their upbringing, sexual abuse, sexuality, BDSM, monogamy, polyamory, reproductive rights, their fears, and the role they play in today’s feminist movement.

Many of the women profiled on the site so far have an Ontario connection, so OntarioKink.com reached out to them to bring our readers some exclusive behind-the-scenes interviews with the women who shared such a personal view of themselves.

Photo source: Alexis McDonald

35-year-old Alexis McDonald grew up in London, Ontario but now resides in Toronto where she works as an actress, puppeteer, and voice actress. She lives for theatre, and the arts in general, and most recently she’s become an inspiration for women around the globe since being profiled on herself.com.

The Interview

OK: How did you become involved in the herself.com project? What was the draw for you?

Alexis: I was a casual acquaintance of the photographer Jennifer Toole and when she told me about the project I was excited at the chance to represent a plus sized real woman in the project.  I loved the idea of being able to inspire others.

OK: What did Caitlin tell you about the vision she had for the herself.com website?

Alexis: That it would represent REAL woman and not photo-shopped images of what woman should look like.  She made it known that she wanted to include woman of all sexual identity, shape, size, ethnicity, age.

OK: Can you tell us a bit about the entire process?

Alexis: I contacted Caitlin and expressed my interest in the project. The photographer came over to my home and scouted out the areas of our home she wanted to use as a backdrop for me and we took at least a hundred photos in the course of a 3 hour session.  It was a very relaxed enjoyable experience.  My fiance was there and provided food & drink, he did his best to stay out of the way making it a very intimate experience between the photographer and myself.  A few weeks after the shoot I did my interview with Caitlin and was provided with samples from my shoot and asked to choose my favourites to be used.  It was very collaborative which I enjoyed.

OK: Was this your first time doing a nude photoshoot? If so, what was the response from your fiance when you talked to him about the interview?

Alexis: This was the first time I had been photographed nude however I had posed for an art class in university.   Being photographed is much more intimate.  My fiance was very supportive about the whole thing although I was hesitant to tell him about it, he’s a very private person I wasn’t sure how he would handle it.  But he was amazing.

OK: How do you feel now that the interview/pictures have been posted?

Alexis: I’m very proud of the outcome.  The beautiful pictures of me and all the woman are interesting along with the interviews.  It was overwhelming at the gallery unveiling however to see me exposed and ten feet high up on a wall I have to admit.

OK: Which question in the interview caused the most controversy in your own mind as you tried to answer it?

Alexis: There wasn’t one question I found difficult to answer however as a whole the interview was very intimate, I felt more exposed after completing the interview than I had after posing for the pictures themselves!

OK: What was the most empowering part of the herself.com experience?

Alexis: The shoot itself was very empowering.  The photographer made me feel beautiful throughout and the results show that I believe!

OK: What type of feedback have you received so far? Have any ‘haters’ popped up?

Alexis: I’ve received great feedback.  Mostly friends who I’ve shared the link to the site to.  As far as the haters go I don’t need or want to hear them although I admit I read the buzzfeed article comments about the site both positive and negative.  Ultimately  I’m proud of what I’ve done and don’t have room for negativity on the matter!

OK: Are people in your personal life aware of your profile on herself.com?

Alexis: I’ve shared the site with many friends and some family however I have not told my parents about the project.  I think they could appreciate it but its not something I’m completely comfortable sharing with them.  I may one day.

OK: In your interview you mention having surgery to even your breast size, and the issues that caused. Were your body image issues alleviated by the surgery, or is it still something you struggle with?

Alexis: No plastic surgery is ever perfect, nor was mine.  As I gain or loose weight my implant remains the same size so they never perfectly match but I’ve come to a real peace about them.  I just hope I can still breast feed from the side where my implant is. Interestingly enough, I’ve never had a partner complain about my breasts, the discrepancy mostly bothered me personally.

OK: How does your bisexuality effect your monogamous relationship with your fiance?

Alexis: Part of me in sad that I will never again be with a woman but its the same part of me that is sad I will never be with another man.  I have found everything i was looking for in one person who just happens to be male.  I am glad however that I got to experience many lovers before committing, i don’t feel like I am missing out on anything going forward.  Monogamy will be a great adventure.

OK: What advice would you give to young women who are just beginning to discover their sexuality?

Alexis: Live with no regrets.  Be selective and careful but don’t limit yourself. Know what you like and demand it, fulfill it on your own if you have to.  Take charge of your sexual pleasure.

OK: What is one thing that men can do to help the women’s rights movement?

Alexis: Not to be threatened by a woman’s sexuality, abilities and progress. Those who truly believe in feminism believe in equality not superiority of any one gender.  Women and Men are not equal.  A man can be helpful by doing or not doing anything that promotes equality.

OK: What do you wish you could change about the way men tend to view women?

Alexis: A contrast that bothers me the most is that woman are either virgins or whores.  Men really need to get over that.  I have been both to both men and women so its not just a male problem but one that men created and need to overcome to view woman as whole creatures!

OK: Thank you for discussing such intimate details of your life with us!

Alexis: Thank you for your interest in Herself.com and my story in particular.