The Art of the Mindfuck
The woman knelt naked in the shower, her wrists bound to her ankles with duct tape, eyes covered with a black blindfold. Unable to move, she simply waited as the cold water dripped out of her wet hair and landed on her breasts. With each cool drop she shivered. “Are you cold, slut? Do you need to be warmed up?” I asked her. When she uttered the word’s “Yes, Sir!” I simply responded by stepping into the shower and unzipping my pants. Within seconds, she felt a warmth splattering onto her chest. As she inhaled and recognized the smell of urine, she quickly realized what was happening. I was pissing on her. She began to try to manoeuvre herself away from me, and I temporarily stopped the flow just long enough to give her left cheek a light smack. As the flow started again I commanded her to open her mouth. At first she objected, but then gave in and opened wide. She knows the disgusting salty taste is coming. The stream of hot piss never makes it’s way into her mouth though. It couldn’t have, because then the jig would have been up. It wasn’t piss, it was just an elaborate mindfuck that I’d concocted. It gave her a hell of an adrenaline rush, played with her emotions in ways she had never experienced before, and pushed her perceptions of her own personal boundaries.
So what the fucking fuck is a mindfuck? The answer, in a nutshell, is that it’s psychological manipulation. Within the confines of BDSM, it’s an attempt to intentionally temporarily destabilize, confuse, or manipulate the mind of your play partner, with the goal of releasing endorphins and adrenaline into their bloodstream, resulting in a psychological and physiological all-natural ‘high.’
So how to you craft the perfect mindfuck, and use it to have an amazing scene? The recipe itself is fairly simple…however, if the ingredients aren’t properly mixed…the results can be disastrous. Continue reading to hear more about the formula I use, and some great tips, tricks, and examples of mindfucks!
The Key Ingredients:
*Developing Trust *Gaining Consent *Information Gathering *Planting Seeds *Planning the set, props, and plot lines *Skillful execution *The Reveal *Aftercare
Developing Trust
All play relationships require trust, and mindfucks are no exception. It may not be necessary for the ‘bottom’ to trust everyone involved in the mindfuck (if there are multiple), however they should have confidence and trust in the person planning the mindfuck. The bottom must be willing to explore their soft (and possibly even hard) limits, and trust that the top will not actually violate any hard limits. More importantly, they need to be able to trust in the top’s ability to assist in their aftercare.
Gaining Consent
As trust is gained, a partner may be more willing to explore their personal boundaries. As a top, talk about your desire to push their boundaries and help them experience their dreams. As a bottom, let your top know if you trust them to slowly push those boundaries and experience new things. Have ‘The Discussion’. Keep it in vague detail, but do discuss which boundaries you’re interested in exploring. Reaffirm your hard limits, and make it clear what you’re interested (though possibly scared) to explore. Give your consent to explore various aspects, provided that hard limits and safe words are respected, and that proper aftercare if given (and ask what that proper aftercare might be!).
Example: Let’s say your partner has a fear – yet is strangely turned on by the thought of being abducted and held at knife-point. We can exploit that and shape a mindfuck around it, so tell them that you’d like to help them explore that one day. If they are open do it, as about any limits they’d have and ask if you can plan it out for them.
Information Gathering
Every good mindfuck plays upon a fantasy or fear. For instance, a mindfuck could involve the fantasy of a gangbang, or the fear of being held at knife point by a stranger. The key to this portion isn’t actually to interrogate your partner, but rather to LISTEN to what they offer up. As the play relationship begins they will likely (at least, they should) make you aware of what their fantasies and personal limits are. Listen to that information. A bottom might reveal a fear of heights, creepy crawlies, knives, being kidnapped, or a desire to be used sexually in a form of consensual non-consent. Once you have their consent, continue to find out why the concept turns them on. You can even enlist the help of some close kinky friends to ask questions for you, so that it doesn’t seem as though you’re plotting.
Example: For our abduction scenario you could have a friend talk about their fantasies and bring up abduction. They can share stories and report back to you. You can probably find out if there is a specific scenario your partner has in mind and begin to shape your mindfuck to perfectly suit it.
Plant Seeds
As a top, bring up those ‘taboo’ subjects in conversation. Give small hints of what fucked up things you’d like to do to your partner, or even fantasize openly about them when you’re lying in bed together. Push those boundaries verbally, and threaten (let’s keep in mind that it’s a consensual relationship and you’ve both decided to explore boundaries together) to push them in real life. It’s always good to keep your partner guessing a bit.
Planning the set, props, and plot lines
Once you have your idea in mind and you’ve begun to plant those seeds, take the time to actually think through every aspect of what you’re about to do with your partner. Plan out how you will set them up. Think about the sights, the sounds, the smells, the feelings they will need in order to have a convincing experience. Think of all eventualities. Does your partner have any triggers that might be affected by your plan? Do you need help from other people? Will your partner require a few days to recover and reconnect with you? What safety precautions need to be taken to ensure no one gets hurt? If you are doing a scene outdoors, have you arranged for spotters to make sure other people don’t unknowingly walk into your scene? Are you sure that there is no law enforcement nearby that might assume the worst?
Make sure you have any necessary props, and you might make a point of introducing them to your partner if it will cause them to be nervous about when it will be used. For instance, if they are afraid of knives, you can show them the new blade you purchased. Their mind will start to run with it.
If other people are involved, make sure they know exactly how you want the scene to play out. Make sure they know to avoid any triggers that you’re aware of. Make sure they know how you want them to respond in case your partner begins to figure out the mindfuck, and even how they should respond in case of emergency.
Skillful Execution
This of course varies depending on what you’ve constructed for your mindfuck, but if you’ve put the proper planning into place and laid out the groundwork, you’ll likely find the bottom will follow your cues right into the fantasy, rather than the reality. In most mindfucks there will be subversion, often in the form of a bait and switch. Make sure you find a way to make it as undetectable as possible for the bottom.
Example: In our abduction mindfuck, we’ve decided that we’ll arrange to have the bottom meet us in a parking lot. However, when they arrive a van drives up and two masked men jump out with knives in their hand. One of them throws a burlap sack over the bottom’s head, and they are dragged into the van where they are taken on a short ride, to the place that the rest of the scene will actually unfold. The bottom is taken out with their head sack still on, and attached by their wrists to a chain hanging from the ceiling. One of the co-conspirators speaks to them in a threatening tone, and asks for the whereabouts of their partner (you). When they respond, the co-conspirator can lose their temper while you approach them and put them in a choke hold from behind. You can then take a credit card (which they will assume is one of the knives they saw earlier) and trace the edge along the skin on the side of their face and under their chin, while the other person continues to interrogate them. The scene can go where ever you want it to. It can be a simple interrogation or full out gang rape.
The Reveal
At some point, you’ll likely want to reveal that what they have experienced was not the reality they thought it was. You might choose to do this towards the end of the scene, or as part of the Aftercare. Either way it is a jarring experience for the bottom, and they may be in a state of shock and complete disbelief at first.
Example: There are at least two ways this abduction scene could go. You could choose to speak in a threatening voice yourself, which would momentarily confuse them as their overstimulated brain tries to work out what is happening. You could then remove the sack on their head, and show the card you’ve been dragging across their skin. Otherwise, you could finish torturing them and leave them bound on the floor for a few minutes…then return as their saviour, removing the sack and chains and consoling them.
Aftercare
The truth is, mindfucks can REALLY fuck a person up. You shouldn’t participate in one unless you are willing to deal with the fallout from the fun you’re having. It’s very important to do whatever it takes to reform that connection between top and bottom following the scene. Make sure you know beforehandwhat they typically need for aftercare, but remember that a mindfuck is very much an atypical scene. Depending on the severity of the mindfuck, they may need to spend hours or days with you, and you might need to reassure that they were never in any real harm and that you were looking out for them. You might also be able to discuss it all in the hours that follow, and talk about what they did and didn’t like about the experience.
So how did the piss mindfuck that I mentioned at the beginning of the article work? It was quite simple, yet complex enough to completely fool her at the time. Before beginning the mindfuck I had made a point of planting seeds by telling her how much I wanted to mark her as mind by pissing on her. I constructed a stand-in penis by poking a hole in the cap of a juice container and gluing a thin piece of tubing in the hole. I filled the container up with water almost all the way to the top and hid it in the bathroom. Then I made a point of drinking a lot of water in front of her throughout the day. A bit before starting the mindfuck I pissed into a glass and hid that in the washroom under the same towel as the modified juice container. When it came time to mindfuck her, I added warm water to the jug so that it would feel close to body temperature. I ensured she couldn’t see what I was doing by blindfolding her and walking her into the shower. Hosed her down and made her kneel, and retrieved my props. I clumsily unzipped my pants (hey, both hands were full!) so that she’d have the auditory picture of my fly being unzipped and my cock coming out. She then felt the water splashing against her, and moments later smelled the stench of urine as I held the glass about ten inches from her nose. Her mind took her on a voyage, and that voyage opened up a whole new area of interest for her. Having felt she had already experienced a golden shower, actually experiencing one wasn’t as bizarre a concept to her!
Have you pulled off a great mindfuck that you’d like to share? Please tell us about it in the comments below!
