Why The Next Generation (TNG)?

Why TNG?

“Kink, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the young and often shy. Its continuing mission: to explore new things, to seek out D/s wisdom, and new sex positions…to boldly go where others have gone before.” – Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Okay, maybe the highest ranking officer of the Starship Enterprise didn’t exactly utter those words. In fact, Patrick Stewart may cringe if he ever read them. Nonetheless, the intent of the intro to the ‘The Next Generation’ parallels that of a subgroup within the kink community.

The so-called ‘TNG movement’ seeks to help younger people find their way in the wide world of kink. The target age range differs from group to group, but the desire is to create a place where young kinksters will feel comfortable enough to come out and explore kink as part of the real life kink community. While I haven’t been able to track down exactly when or where the first TNG much was held, regional groups have spread all over the world in recent years, and Niagara is no exception. The Niagara TNG group held their first meeting in September of 2010, after much discussion with local kinksters on FetLife.

“When my ex-wife and I started attending the Phoenix Niagara munch, we quickly realized we were the only people under the age of 35. Over the next year or two we saw a few people that were around our age range come and go, but none of them ever seemed to find what they were looking for. We wondered why there were so many young people listed under the cities of Niagara on FetLife, but none of them were attending munches,” says MasterMatt84. “We wanted to find a way to engage them, and introduce them to the awesome people that had reached out to us at munches, and had since become or close friends and mentors!”

His idea to host the event started with doing some research. He set up an online survey and asked people between the ages of 18-35 to fill it out. The results showed that young people wanted to attend an event, but various factors kept them from attending. Going forward, the hosts of the TNG group in Niagara would seek to emphasize the comfort and safety factors within the community and provide an easy ‘first introduction’ to the kinky community. They also made a point to discuss the other munches, and assure the newbies that the older kinksters in the area were (for the most part) very welcoming and knowledgeable.

Sm-ashy, a kinkster from Barrie, also noticed that her city had a ton of younger kinksters online, but that they weren’t attending the local events in the numbers she would have expected. She set out to help them feel more comfortable to attend their first event, and in the process started the Barrie TNG. “Knowing that everyone in a ‘generic’ munch is kinky in some form is a bit reassuring, but knowing that everyone at a TNG munch will be the around same age, adds another level of comfort. At a TNG munch, you’re not going to be surrounded by people who are the same age as your parents and have been ‘doing kink’ longer than you’ve been born. (laughs) There’s potential for more common ground at a TNG munch.” MasterMatt84 chimes in, “Not only do TNG aged people sometimes feel like they are too inexperienced to attend a munch, but they just have no idea what to talk about in some social situations. People often revert to a comfort zone for discussion topics when they are nervous, which in the younger age group could be Pokemon, video games, or their favourite band. They know that if they unleash a topic like that in a group of older people, chances are next to nil that someone will know what they are talking about.”

When asked about one of the biggest things he’s noticed the younger crowd deal with MasterMatt84 responded, “Honestly, we’ve seen a lot of younger folks suffering from social anxiety. I’m not just talking about the type of person that just doesn’t really like crowds…I’m talking about people that would have a crippling panic attack in large crowds where they don’t know anyone.” He expands, “I’m not entirely sure why younger people have a harder time socializing, but it may have something to do with the way technology has affected the way we communicate. As a child, I didn’t get a chance to socialize much outside of school, with the exception of MSN (instant messenger) and chat rooms. It made me very shy, and it wasn’t until I started working that I started to feel more comfortable socializing. The younger people are, the more their friendships have developed through texting, instant messengers, and even through the interactive features in video games. For some of these people, meeting another person face to face for the first time is unnerving.”

Adventures In Sexuality (AIS), an Ohio-based group offering kink events for all ages, discusses the “Why?” question through an article on their [website]. “The simple answer is that TNGs reduce the barriers to getting into the scene by reducing the cultural adjustments. Taking that first step into the public BDSM is pretty intimidating, regardless of how welcoming the people in the scene are. It is, honestly, a pretty different set of social expectations and it can challenge even the free-est of thinkers.”

Tooth_and_Nail, who recently attended his first kink munch shares his experience, “Even attending my first TNG munch, I felt like I was walking into a group of my friends hanging out at the bar. It’s relaxed and laid back, anyone is free to talk about anything, and it so easy to find something to relate on with the others even beyond kink.”

AIS brings up another very good point when they say, “Sure, experienced people are good to learn from, but it can also create an environment where the younger, newer person just feels hopelessly behind and clueless. Plus, people who have been in the scene for decades can make for very poor mentors for the brand new – they just don’t remember what it’s like to be so shiny new and sometimes don’t do well at helping people just starting out.”

One thing that MasterMatt84 points out is that although the ‘TNG’ term is now used all over the world to describe groups dedicated to younger kinksters, it doesn’t mean that all groups operate the same way, or have the same effect on their local kink community.

GeekyRed04, co-host of the Niagara TNG munch, points out that the NTNG’s rules differ from many other TNG groups, “Our cut-off age is 30, and we don’t allow partners over that age to attend. We try to keep in mind that for some of these people, the age difference is a big deal at first, and we want them to be comfortable. If they read that the event is for people between the ages of 18-30, and show up and someone’s 85 year old partner is there, then they might feel uncomfortable, or even worse, lied to.”

MasterMatt84 adds, “If you have a partner that is over the age of 30, then chances are that you have a partner who would be able to function just fine at any other munch, and they’ll have your back in that situation.”

Of course, the idea of a TNG munch ruffles a few feathers. When the NTNG group started, there were a few murmurs that the group was going to fracture the community, or that it was being created because the younger generation didn’t like the older generation.

“Many people fear the idea of a TNG munch, and claim that it will divide the community. The truth is…it could. So could a munch geared to any fragment of the kink community though. When a munch is formed with the ideal of creating a way for people to get involved in the larger kink community, it seems to have a much different effect than when it’s just done as a way for people to have their own events that are separate from the rest of the community. The Niagara TNG has experienced tremendous support from the other local munch/party groups since it started, and that support has lead to the younger generation really integrating into the larger community. It’s been a win/win situation, and most of the people that objected to the idea in the first place are now big supporters of the group,” says MasterMatt84.

“Barrie TNG is still pretty small in regards to our munch attendance, though our group on FetLife is well over 200 (users). Sometimes we get 5 people out, and sometimes we get 35. I would say that most of those people attend other events regularly too. Some of them were attending events before the TNG came along, and others have used TNG as a stepping stone into kink and have started attending other events because their first experience with TNG was so great, and they made friends to attend the other events with!”, says Sm-ashy. “I can’t think of many people who haven’t gone on to attend other events in addition to TNG, but a very small number do not attend any subsequent kink events,” says Sm-ashy.

In the end, the TNG movement exists simply because there is a desire, and in many cases a need. It can be a tremendous tool to the kink community, and so it’s attempts to help young kinksters enter the community should be supported. It’s a great way to help young people learn about safety, consent, and many other things that are so important to one’s journey into the kink world.