Tips for how to Maintain Connection for Play and Sex

IMG_3606We all strive for it – that intense and indescribable connection that is sometimes found in play and sex.  Those moments of connection, where you and your partner are the only people in the whole world and nothing exists but sensations and feelings and closeness.  Those are beautiful moments.  I would live steeped in them all the time if I could.  But maintaining that feeling in day to day life and in all of your play and sexual encounters can be difficult.  Here are some tips to help you make connections with your partner a priority and an ever-present aspect of your relationships:

1)      Stay open and honest and as real as you can be.  Define clearly what you want from each other and be open about what you need and if you are not getting it.  The more open and honest your communication is, the better your connection will be, because you are always on the same page.

2)      Don’t be scared of the connection you are feeling.  It can be overwhelming and intimidating, but it is the good stuff in life.  Try to embrace it with open arms.  Let your walls fall down and just be with your partner in as authentic a way as possible.  Trust is what breeds a good connection to your partner and if trust is always there, the connection will just build!

3)      Find out what your partner likes and be accepting of it and willing to try it.  Take joy in your partner’s joy and they will feel free to find joy in pleasing you.

4)      Use eye contact to establish connection when you are playing or fucking.  Prolonged eye contact is associated with intimacy.  It can seem very intense at first, but can also help establish an intense connection that is lasting.  Eye contact can bring passion to an otherwise standard play or fuck session.

5)      In kind, using touch and cuddling can also help build and maintain a connection with your partner.  When fucking, the more parts of your body that are connected by touch the better.  It creates a shared closeness that feeds passion into the experience.  Intertwine your feet and legs together, speak directly into your partner’s ear, look at them and kiss them as much as possible.  I like sex that is a jumble of body parts until you don’t even know where you begin and your partner ends.   One of my partners always says that his goal is to make sure that I can’t walk after we are done – and I love it every time he reaches that goal!!!

6)      If you are honest and authentic in your interactions with your partner, connection should not take a huge effort.  It is all about knowing your partner and wanting to meet their needs.  And needs can range from earth shattering orgasms, to cuddles, to mind-blowing play or even long deep conversations.  Tapping into what your partner needs in an authentic way builds  lasting connection that will bleed into all your other interactions.

So go!  Seek out that incredible connection that you have been looking for and use these tips to help foster it into lasting play and sexual relationships!